Alive and kickin'

Well, hello again. Oh internet, you are such a patient repository of my thoughts.

So, a quick one today, since I have to mail a letter (yep, I still use snail mail). I was feeling a little down yesterday. Just having one of those crises of faith, one of those moments when you look up from the keyboard and think, "Sweet merciful God, I don't think I can write!" This panic attack sent me scurrying to look for examples of legitimately bad writing. Hey, if they can get published, I have a chance too, right?

Unfortunately, my search left me feeling even more downtrodden. Sure, I know I have my strengths and weaknesses. Like most wannabe writers, I am probably not publishable yet. Yet I couldn't shake the fear that I'm somehow tone-deaf to language, that I could have great plots, characters, and dialogue, and still write the equivalent of "See Jane. See Dick. See Jane and Dick run. Oh, Jane. Oh, Dick."

Then I found some of my old manuscripts. Two of them are about 25,000 words each (probably novella length), the third is around 60,000 (so an awkwardly short novel). None of the three have ever been shown to anyone- they must never see the light of day. But they're a good chart of my progress. From the first novella, which I wrote four years ago, to the piece on which I'm currently working, I do see an improvement. Some of that is tied to my own process of growing up. I mean, I can't even drink legally yet... I really hope that as I keep practicing and working, by the time I'm "old enough," my work will be ready.

Cheers,
Arvik